Breaking Becca
by junkpuppet225
Summary: Becca was everything to Jesse, then he met crystal. This is their story. Jesse/OV


Title: Breaking Becca

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Breaking Bad nor am I making any money from the writing of this fan fic. Rated M for strong language, drug use and sexual situations. Spoilers for Breakingn Bad within. Enjoy!

Summary: Becca is everything to Jesse until he meets crystal. This is their story. Jesse/OC

X

Jesse rounded the corner of the oncology ward quickly; crashing into a supply cart as he stumbled on shaky legs. His parents stood at the end of the long hallway; his mother sobbing quietly into his father's chest.

"No no no no no no no..."

"Jesse, right now is not the time." His father stated pulling his mother closer to him. Their eldest son was showing all to familiar signs of being high.

"She's my aunt yo! I got every right to be here!"

A few nurses had gathered around the front desk watching them carefully. Jesse was pacing in front of his parents looking as paranoid as ever; eyes wide and red - head throbbing. "Just let me see her yo." He pleaded, voice cracking with emotion as he ran a hand over his face. He looked and felt like shit coming down hard from a three day bender.

"You're too late." His mother said from her husbands embrace - glaring at their ruined son. "She died thirty minutes ago while you were out getting high."

Jesse turned towards Midge quickly - it was a cruel thing to say. Despite what he was or wasn't to them he didn't deserve to find out about his aunt's passing so abruptly. Jesse stared at his parents with wide glassy eyes, trying to process what his mother just said. Ginny was dead. His sweet aunt who had helped him when he's parents had given up had left this world and he couldn't even say goodbye. Adam seemed to soften a bit at the sight of his son clutching his chest; his breath catching in his throat as tears spilled down his face. "Son," Jesse jerked his arm away from his grasp glaring at his parents. "Is that what the fuck I am to you? A son? You can't even call and tell me Ginny is in the hospital or for my birthday last week? See if I'm even fucking alive. Fuck this."

Adam reach for his eldest son again as Jesse turned on his heels storming out of the hallway as quickly as he came - his parents staring after him in defeat.

X

Once he was inside his car he opened his piece of shit phone and dialed a number; placing it to his ear with a shaky hand. After two rings an all to familiar voice filled his head causing his heart to ache.

"Jesse?"

Becca was his first friend. Before Badger or Combo it was her. Jesse's family had moved in beside hers when he was six months old and they'd been inseparable until recently. Like his parents Becca couldn't keep enabling him and his drug use but he didn't know who else to call.

"Jesse? Are you alright?"

He couldn't find the words - holding the phone away from his face as he lost what little control he had; sobbing into his palm as his mothers words found him again. Ginny was dead. He would never be able to tell her how much she'd meant to him.

"Jesse where are you?" The panic in his friends voice sobered him enough to regain his composure - wiping at his face before he adjusted the phone to his ear. "Ginny's gone, Beck. My bitch mom didn't even call to tell me! I had to find out from the fucking neighbor that an ambulance picked her up this morning!"

The line went silent. Ginny was the sweetest woman Becca knew. She had been like family to her.

"I can't go back there tonight, Becca."

Jesse closed his eyes as new tears fell - remembering his and Becca's last encounter. It hadn't ended well. He didn't know why she'd even answered his call. He didn't know what he ever did to deserve someone like her.

"Okay." She finally answered; voice cracking with emotion. "Come in the front. No ones here."

The phone clicked and the line went dead leaving Jesse alone in his vehicle staring out into the street with a blank stare.

X

Jesse looked up as the front door opened; meeting Becca's pale green eyes with his darker hues. The look on her pretty face broke his heart all over again causing him to hang his head with sorrow.

"Jesse, I'm so sorry."

He didn't make her any comment just pulled her into his embrace. He hadn't seen her in over a week; not since he'd screamed at her in a drunken meth rage in front of their friends.

X

" _Yo man, Beck is at the front door looking for you."_

 _Jesse groaned at the thought - he was beyond fucked up and in no mood to hear her bitching about how he chose to live his life. He got plenty of that shit from his bitch mom on a daily basis._

" _Just tell her I'm not here, Combo."_

 _Christian looked at him carefully and shook his head._

" _Your car's out front man."_

" _Fuck."_

 _He pushed himself up from the worn couch and went to the door - peering out into the yard to spot Becca. She looked as beautiful as ever with her dark hair pulled back from her face; those pale green eyes staring back at him like two jade colored stones._

" _What is it now, Becca?"_

 _There was five foot of space between them but she knew. She always knew when he was using. Her intense gaze fell as she wrapped her arms around her thin frame and sighed._

 _He hated when she frowned._

" _Ginny is worried sick about you Jesse. She said you haven't been home in over a week."_

 _It was his turn to look away. Had he really been at Combo's longer than a week? Fuck._

" _Alright, yo. I'll go check on her."_

 _Becca closed the space between them; looking up at him with those sad green eyes._

" _She asked me about her pain pills. Said she was hurting Jesse but I couldn't find them."_

 _He dropped her gaze. Ginny hadn't taken her prescribed pain medication in months - so what if he'd sold some for a few hits of meth?_

 _"Did you really take your cancer stricken aunts pain pills?" She whispered - searching his handsome face for any answer she may find. She couldn't remember a time that they hadn't been friends - a time without him in her life but she didn't know how much more she could take. He was slipping away from her and she wasn't strong enough to keep holding on._

" _She never takes it."_

" _This shit is going to fucking kill you Jesse then me and your parents and Ginny - were the ones who have to live without you. Were the ones who are suffering!"_

 _Combo and Badger stepped out on the porch as a sob escaped her. They had all been friends at one point in their lives but she blamed them for Jesse's downfall and hadn't spoke to either of them in over a year._

 _Becca stepped away from him only to have him reach out and grab her wrist; pulling her back to his chest roughly. He wasn't going to let her leave like this. He couldn't lose her._

" _Let go!" She demanded, jerking her arm away with no prevail. Jesse dug his fingers into her wrist; holding her close as he searched her face frantically. He had to fix this. "You're overacting! Everything is fine. Ginny doesn't even take that shit yo." Tears were spilling down her cheeks as she met his gaze; shaking her head as she whispered between them._

" _I can't keep doing this."_

 _Jesse's eyes narrowed in anger._

 _"Why do you always have to be bitching me out yo. I fucking love you - more than anything but all you want to do is bring me down."_

 _Becca jerked her arm from his grasp. "You don't give a fuck about me or Ginny. I can't believe you would take her fucking pain medicine just to get high! Why do you have to be like this?!_ "

"Why do you have to be such a fucking bitch?!"

Becca looked up at him with wide eyes, tears falling down her face. Badger and Combo slipped back into the house as the two friends stared at each other. Jesse could only watch as Becca's heart broke before him.

"Yo Beck. I didn't mean..."

He reach for her again but she jerked away from his grasp turning away from him quickly.

"Becca! Don't fucking walk away from me! Becca! God damnit don't do this!"

Jesse screamed after her as she got in her car and slammed the door - driving off onto the street quickly.

X

"I'm sorry, Becca." He whispered against her ear; holding her against his chest as her own sob escaped her. She was losing her best friend to drugs and it was killing her but she couldn't give up on him - she had promised his aunt she never would.

"I swear I'm done using. It cost me saying goodbye to Ginny. It almost cost me you..." He whispered running his hands up her back as he buried his face in the bend of her neck. She smelled like vanilla or coconut? Something heavenly. "Beck I swear. I love you."

Becca finally returned his hug; causing a muffled sob to escape him. He was a broken man.

"I love you too."

Jesse looked up at her quickly, surprised at her words. It wasn't the first time they had passed from her lips but it felt different now. There was so much heartache in her voice; he didn't know if it was because of him or Ginny's death. She pulled away from his embrace slowly and put some space between them, searching his sad eyes with her own.

"There's some of your clothes up stairs. Go take a shower. I'll make us something to eat."

Jesse nodded; stepping into her parents house for the first time in a while. In high school he always climbed up the gutter to her bedroom. Now a days her dad wasn't around and her mom stayed out of town with her new boyfriend so they had the whole house to themselves.

"Hey Becca."

She glanced up at him after closing the door.

"Thank you."

X

Jesse stood in front of Becca's bathroom mirror for what seemed like forever; wiping the stream from the glass as he stared at himself carefully. He felt numb. Eyes to big for his face. After his argument with Becca last week he'd lost himself in meth - doing bowl after bowl with Badger and Combo. He didn't know how he was still standing. His thoughts returned to his sweet aunt. She had battled cancer for a long time and he knew in his heart she was free from pain now but he missed her. He wished he could have told her he loved her.

Ginny was the only person beside Becca who gave a shit about him. Becca and her sad green eyes. After everything he had put her through since he stared using in high school she was still by his side. He loved her - he couldn't remember a time he didn't - but he needed to show her how much.

He didn't know if he could keep his promise about staying clean - he'd never wanted to hit the pipe so hard in his life - but he couldn't lose Becca. The thought of never seeing her again caused his chest to ache.

Giving himself one last look in the mirror he turned to his spare clothes and threw them on; descending down the stairs to Becca who was waiting for him in the kitchen.

X

Becca looked over her shoulder as Jesse appeared behind her at the stove; peering into the pan. Ginny always made them fried bread when they were with her; before her cancer advanced to where she couldn't anymore and then Becca started making it for them.

It smelled delicious but he wasn't hungry. At least not for fried bread. His mind and heart were racing and he needed to think of anything but the death of his aunt. Meth was out of the question and he needed to clear his mind. He reach over Becca and cut off the stove, pushing the hot pan off the eye as his lips found hers.

The kiss took her by surprise and after a moment she pulled away to take a breath; eyes wide as she searched his face. "I love you." He whispered against her mouth; kissing her again as his hands found her body - pulling her away from the stove. Her dark hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail; eyes watching him carefully.

"Jesse…"

A groan escaped his throat as she whispered his name. She wanted him as much as he wanted her but she was concerned about his state of mind. She knew he could go to some dark places when he was using and the way he was kissing her now, with such desperation… she pulled away from him quickly.

"Jesse. Maybe right now isn't a good time. You need to eat something."

It was hard to tell when he ate last. Despite the hot shower he still looked like shit. He searched her eyes with his darker hues and kissed her again, trailing his mouth down her exposed neck. It was Becca's turn to moan. "Jesse…" His fingers pulled at the hem of her baggy red shirt, sliding his hands up her sides to cup her breasts gently. Another moan escaped her.

"I just want to forget everything but you. I need you… I need this..." He whispered against her neck, slipping her shirt over her head as she lifted her arms for him. They started at each other for an intense moment and she nodded, crashing her mouth to his again. He slid his fingers into her hair and pulled her closer; clutching her desperately as she backed into the living-room.

Becca sat on the couch - taking a quick breath as she removed his shirt and pulled him down to her. "You're so fucking beautiful, yo." He groaned before kissing her throat; causing her back to arch as he trailed kisses between her breasts and to her navel; pulling her black shorts down as he went. She ran her finger tips through his hair, holding him in place as he tasted her and air escaped her lungs.

After a few agonizing moments he kissed his way back to her mouth; helping her remove his pants before he buried himself inside her. Becca let out a gasp as he poured everything he had into fucking her; resting his forehead against hers as she moaned beneath him. What he wouldn't give to fuck her forever - never return to the real world but stay lost inside this amazing woman for the rest of his life. Unfortunately he was just a man and could feel her tightening around him as her head fell back and she cried out his name.

Watching her come undone brought on his own release and he collapsed on top of her; laying quietly against her for several minutes as they caught their breath; Becca's sharp nails against his back. God he wanted to fuck her again.

Another minute passed before he kissed her and pushed himself up from her embrace.

"I think I'm ready for that bread now." He assured with a sly smile and took her hand, pulling her into a sitting position. They gathered their clothes and returned to the kitchen where Becca heated the bread and placed it on the table before him. Jesse watched her carefully as she brought a case knife and the butter to him and took her seat.

"Whats wrong?"

Besides everything.

Becca looked up at him from across the table - despite their moment of passion she looked so broken.

"Promise me you're done using, Jesse."

He looked her in the eye, hand over his pounding heart.

"Becca, I promise."

She forced a smile - accepting his word as they dug into their food. It took exactly fourteen days to break that promise.

X

Two weeks later.

Becca gasped as her back slapped against the shower wall - Jesse's hands in her wet hair as he pressed himself against her belly and kissed her desperately. "Jesus, Becca. The things you do to me." He groaned against her lips - pulling her closer to his body. They had spent the past few days doing this very thing which left little time for thinking about meth or Ginny.

"Jesse..." She whispered, searching his face with a grin. "I'm freezing."

"Oh. Right." He turned around and shut off the water quickly; reaching out of the shower and handing her a large green towel. Becca smiled at him - running the towel through her hair before wrapping it around her body. Jesse did the same as they wondered back to his bedroom. His parents had allowed him to stay in Ginny's house after her passing; mostly because they didn't want him staying with them and corrupting Jake anymore than he already had. Pushing that thought from his head he turned back to Becca - taken back at the sight of her standing by his bed with just a towel covering her. "Jesus..." He muttered again closing the space between them as his hands found her face and he kissed her again. Becca sat on the edge of his bed allowing him to remove their towels and advance on top of her carefully. He knew exactly where and how to kiss her - he was the only person she had ever kissed; ever let do anything like this to her.

To his surprise Becca moved her body over his - straddling his hips as she leaned down and kissed him slowly. A moan escaped him - eyes wide as she was careful not to allow him access to her most prized parts. "Fucking tease." He growled between his teeth as she moved down his body - kissing his chest then below his navel. His heart began to race - watching her kiss every inch of his body but the one thing he wanted her to kiss. His fingers stroked her hair - exhaling as she finally took him into her mouth. "Fucking hell Becca." He groaned looking down at her face as their eyes met. It was nearly his undoing.

Just then the phone rang somewhere in the house; ringing several annoying times before the machine finally picked up and his clever recording played loudly. Becca never missed a beat - causing Jesse's head to fall back on his pillow. "Come up here." He demanded as she stopped suddenly and climbed up his body - surprised as he pulled her into a deep kiss.

"I want to fuck you so bad." He whispered between them as she searched his face and nodded. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

 _"Leave it at the tone."_

 _"Yo Jesse its Badger. Crazy 8's been looking for you man. Wants to meet up again and make another batch. Mad coin in it for you, brother."_

Jesse groaned beneath Becca - a completely different sound than a few minutes ago. His ahead fell back onto his pillow as she pushed herself away from him - eyes glaring.

"Seriously Jesse?"

"It's just business, yo. I'm not using!"

"I doubt that shit."

Becca stood from the bed and grabbed one of his shirts throwing it on quickly as he followed her through the house struggling with his boxers.

"I'll take a fucking drug test Becca I swear I'm not using! I'm just trying to make some money."

"Then get a job like a normal fucking person Jesse!"

"Yo this is mad money to be made - someone's gonna bank it - might as well be me."

Becca rolled her eyes pulling her pants on roughly as she searched for her bag. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

Jesse finally reach her arm turning her to face him. "I'm not lying. I swear." His words were broken - he didn't want to fight with her but the look on her face proved pointless to keep arguing. She was pissed. "It's illegal Jesse. If you don't fucking kill your self smoking that shit you'll go to jail. Why can't you see that?"

"Please don't do this." He whispered; sinking down to his knees before her. Becca watched him carefully as he buried his face in his hands. "I won't go. Fuck Badger and Crazy. Just don't leave."

"You're never going to change Jesse. Ive got to get to class."

Becca grabbed what she could and left the house without a glance back at him. She wasn't a prude - she'd smoked weed with the guys in high school but she eventually grew up. It was starting to look like Jesse and his gang of misfits never would.

"Fuck!" He yelled once she was outside - slamming his fits on the floor.

X

Later that night Jesse stood outside Combo's house with meth pipe in hand, staring down at the glass bulb full of dark foggy crystals. If Becca found out about this it was really over between them but as far as he knew it was already over. She wasn't answering her phone.

"Yo don't kick my ass but seriously fuck Becca. She used to be cool but all she does is rag on you non stop man and act like your fucking mom. You don't need negativity like that in your life."

Jesse nodded, placing the meth pipe to his mouth and lighting it - taking a long needed drag.

Becca only acted the way she did because she cared about him. He knew that but he was a grown fucking man - he knew his limits.

"I fucking love her, tho." Jesse muttered, holding the hit in his lungs as he spoke.

"You've got a fucked up way of showing it."

Jesse blew the meth out quickly and turned to Becca with wide eyes. "What the fuck Becca? You trying to set me up?"

"I came to apologize for accusing you of using again but I don't know why I waste my fucking time. I knew you were lying to me."

Jesse narrowed his eyes. "I wasn't fucking lying I just figured I might as well do it if you think I am. I don't even know why I have to explain myself to you - it's my fucking life."

"You're right - it is your life and I'm tired of trying to save it."

He tossed his pipe to a nearby chair and grabbed Becca as she moved away from him. "If you walk away from me don't fucking come back." He growled as she pulled her arm away from his grasp. "You're the one who keeps calling me up with your bullshit sob stories promising me you won't do crystal meth anymore. You're full of shit Jesse."

"I'm just trying to have some fun! You're the one who always has a stick up her ass trying to be my fucking mom, yo! Be my fucking girlfriend for a change."

Becca narrowed her eyes.

"I'm done being your girlfriend. If you want to kill your self then have at it but leave me the fuck alone."

She stormed off Combo's lawn for what she hoped was the last time - ignoring Jesse's as he yelled her name in desperation.

"Fucking bitch!"

Badger watched as he turned back to them - kicking his chair over in a fit of rage. He spent the next several days fucked up on anything he could get his hands on.

X

(A/N: They break up about a week before Walt's 50th Birthday. The show starts and goes as told with just pieces of Becca throughout. Enjoy! Review!)

"What times dinner?" Jesse asked his mom carefully - knowing he was pushing his luck by coming here but he couldn't stay in Ginny's house after what him and Mr. White had done. His aunt was probably rolling in her grave because of what took place in her home.

X

After the most awkward family meal known to man he found himself outside his parents house smoking a cigarette - consumed by darkness. Mr. White, of all people had smoked two dudes in cold blood. The thought made him laugh - his tight ass chemistry teacher of all people.

A light flipped on somewhere at the neighbors house. Becca's house. She stood near her bedroom window looking down at what could have only been her desk; a frown on her beautiful face. His heart ached at the sight of her. It had been a little over a month since he'd seen her last - the longest he had ever went without seeing her.

Becca kept her eyes cast downward; her soft dark hair falling over her shoulder. Jesse's eyes found the down spout beside her bedroom. He could climb it like he had so many times when they were growing up - peck on her window and let himself inside. They would listen to music, attempt homework and once they decided they were more than friends - his mind wandered, a groan escaping him. The things he had done to her in that room.

He doubted Becca would talk to him now. She definitely wasn't going to let him do anything like that. He was the reason she frowned all the time. He had ruined their friendship. Frowning at the thought Jesse flicked his cigarette away and turned towards his parents house and away from any hope of fixing things with his lost friend.

xxx

He was hooked up to so many machines; beeping and sputtering - tears welled up in Becca's eyes.

Why couldn't she let him go?

Skinny Pete stood quietly at the door looking between the two ex friends. "I knew you'd come through for Jesse, yo. He's lucky to have you." He assured quietly before taking his leave. Skinny was on probation and couldn't miss work to stay with Jesse in the hospital any longer so he called the only person he knew would come through for him. Becca sat down in the chair beside Jesse's bed allowing the tears to fall down her cheeks as she slid her hand in his. She had lied and told the staff she was his sister and they'd told her four of his ribs were cracked making it hard for him to breath. Skinny had told her he tried to sell dope to the wrong person.

A sob escaped her as she bowed her head and clutched his hand tightly. She stayed with him for two days until Skinny could return and the nurses started weaning him off the pain medicine. By the time he came too she was gone and Skinny Pete had sworn he wouldn't tell Jesse she'd ever been there.

X

(This next part takes place right before Season 2 Ep 12 Phoenix. Spoilers for the show to follow.)

Becca banged on the apartment door loudly keeping her eyes on her surroundings as Jesse's new place wasn't exactly in the suburbs. There was what seemed to be a homeless person slumped over in the ditch across the street.

She knocked again.

"Stop fucking knocking yo! It's early as fuck!"

It was 2pm.

Jesse opened the front door slowly and peered out into the street, surprised to see Becca staring back at him - the usual displeased look on her beautiful face. Green eyes intense as she watched him. He was his usual paranoid self; eyes quickly darting from one side of the road to the other.

"Fuck, Becca."

He moved aside to let her in, running a hand over his face. He looked like shit, heavy eyes red and glassy - clothes wrinkled as if he'd slept in them all week - a sigh escaped her.

"What do you want?" Jesse demanded, turning his back to her to pour himself a drink. Although he had just woke up he poured a shot of liquor and drank it down quickly. Jesse was slipping away. When he turned back to face her his expression softened a bit - she looked so helpless, it broke his heart every time she frowned.

He was tired of getting his heartbroke.

"You're the one who left. You fucking left me Becca so what the fuck are you doing here?"

"I don't know."

Her voice was quiet; broken with emotion. She didn't know why she answered the phone when Badger called her; telling her about the shit Jesse has gotten himself into and how his parents had kicked him out of Ginny's house. She knew things were over with them but after seeing him bruised and broken in the hospital a few weeks ago she couldn't stop thinking about what would happen to him if she didn't try one last time.

"Great fucking answer." He muttered taking another shot of the strong dark liquor. They stared at each other from across the living room; waiting for the other one to break. They had both always been headstrong. They hadn't talked for three whole days when he sided with Combo and Badger on the name Twaughthammer.

Becca wrapped her arms around herself and finally looked away; shaking her dark mane of hair around her shoulders.

"I don't want you to fucking die, Jesse."

"Who the fucks dying?!" He yelled, voice booming as he lifted his arms to show off his new apartment. "I've got all the fucking money I need. Friends who don't nag me every time I try to have some fucking fun and a girl who gets me."

That last part was like a knife to her heart. She took a step back from him as his meth and alcohol induced rage seemed to spike and he glared at her. She'd never seen him look so angry.

"That's right, yo. Jane's my fucking girlfriend now and she doesn't bitch me out or kick me the fuck out. She understands what the fuck I'm going through."

"Because she's a junkie too?"

Becca winced as Jesse's shot glass came whizzing by her head, exploding against the front door. Before she could react he closed the space between them; slamming her back against the door - face inches from hers.

"I fucking love you Becca! More than anything in this fucked up world but you can't accept me. You don't fucking get me like Jane does! She knows what being addicted is like and she's helping me more than your bitching ever has!"

Jesse slammed her into the door hard causing her to wince in pain as she closed her eyes; tears spilling down her cheeks. His hands were tight around her wrists bruising the delicate skin as she braced herself for another slam against the wood but it never came. When she opened her eyes; two sparkling tear filled orbs of jade, Jesse was staring at her in horror.

"Becca… I…"

She jerked herself from his tight grasp, eyes glaring at her lifelong friend. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him except watch him ruin his life anymore.

"If this is really how you want to live your life so be it, Jesse. Tell your fuck up friends to lose my number and stop calling me every time you get yourself in trouble."

He stepped away from her as she opened the apartment door - standing a few inches shorter than Jane who stood with her hand raised in mid knock. The two girls started at each other for a moment before Becca took her leave; flying down the steps and across the street to her waiting car quickly.

She ignored Jesse's pleas as she slammed the car door and shoved her keys into the ignition. Glancing up at Jesse one last time before she drove off - leaving him and Jane alone on the small front porch.

"Who was that?" Jane asked before kissing him as they moved inside. "No one." He muttered, looking down at the broken shot glass behind them as she pulled a small black bag from her jacket and they forgot all about his encounter with Becca.

x

The next morning as Jesse tried desperately to revive his dead junkie girlfriend somewhere across town Becca stared blankly at a positive pregnancy test.

X

"We're sorry but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service."

Jesse ran an idle hand over his face before redialing Jane's phone number only to receive the same message. His head slid back against the bare wall and he closed his eyes; picturing himself leaning over her dead body as he tried to bring her back.

She was really gone. A second passed and his thoughts changed to Becca - green eyes pleading as he shoved her roughly against the apartment door. For the first time in his life she looked truly frightened and it was his fault. She was gone now too. Jesse had managed to fuck up a lifelong friendship because of drugs.

"Fuck.."

He pulled his knees to his chest and flipped open the phone again; dialing a new number. Becca was his first friend. She had answered when Ginny died. She would be there for him - she always had before; he could count on her. No matter how much shit he put her through she wouldn't just give up on him like everyone else. They had a bond thicker than blood.

"We're sorry but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service."

Jesse looked down at the small red device quickly - maybe he had dialed Jane again by mistake? Becca's familiar number stared back at him, the recording repeating itself loudly.

"Fuccck!" He yelled suddenly - all that zen bullshit he'd been learning in recovery out the window as he stood up and hurled the phone across the room - watching as it exploded into a million pieces against the wall. Jesse slid down the wall pulling his knees back to his chest as a sob escaped him.

The next morning he found himself standing in Mr. White's RV readying it to start his own batch of meth.

X

(Breaking Bad happens as written. I'd like to think during Jesse's moments of sadness or thought he's thinking about Becca. ? My story starts back up after Jesse flees the compound. Where will he go? To Becca? Home? Alaska? Tune in to find out! Also I don't know much about cars so let's assume Jesse's Monte Carlo was a manual transmission.)

X

" _Alright now ease off the clutch and give it some gas."_

 _Becca did as she was told and the Monte Carlo crept through the red light at a rapid speed of 8 mph._

" _You're going to have to give it more gas than that." Jesse assured with a grin; glancing in the rear view mirror at a line of traffic that was forming behind them. "Get the rpms up then shift down to second gear like we practiced."_

 _She glanced down at the shift knob as she reach for it causing Jesse to yell out her name and grab the steering wheel, pulling the vehicle back over to the correct lane quickly._

" _Don't look down at the knob yo! Eyes front at all times."_

 _Becca let out a frustrating sigh and gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white; starting ahead. It was only her second lesson. He shouldn't be so hard on her._

" _I'm sorry. You're doing great." Jesse assured quietly - looking over at her as she shifted into third gear without a problem - smiling over at him excitedly. Seeing Becca smile - those bright green eyes shining made him smile too._

 _She had asked him to teach her how to drive - something his dad had taught him when he was twelve and since they were best friends and her dad wasn't hardly around and her mom worked all the time he had agreed._

 _Spending time with her was a hell of a lot better than listening to Bader and Combo argue over movies anyway. She always smelled good and was easy on the eyes. His two male friends being neither of those things._

 _"Tap the brake and ease onto the clutch at the same time. Park over there by Badger."_

 _She did as she was told and slid into the waiting parking space easily; killing the engine as she turned and hugged him excitedly. It surprised them both._

 _Badger hadn't noticed them yet as they sat dangerously close to one another in the compact space of the car. He would always remember the way she looked that day - wide green eyes full of wonder at the idea of driving; fear and excitement radiating from her as he held her at arm's length. It was in that moment that Jesse realized he was in love with her._

 _Without much warning he kissed her - surprising himself when she returned the kiss just as desperately. It was the first time either of them had ever kissed anyone and it was damn near magical. Jesse shifted his weight so Becca could push herself over the console and get closer to him; running his hands up her arms and to her hair - kissing her with every bit of pent up teenage hormones he possessed._

 _They stayed that way for what seemed like forever until Badger pecked on Jesse's window - laughing like a cackling hyena. Finally Becca pulled away - cheeks red but smiling. Jesse could only watch her - his heart beating heavy in his chest. In that movement she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen._

 _"Um, I better get to class."_

 _"Yeah. I uh, yeah." Jesse answered causing Becca to laugh. "Thanks for letting me drive. I love this car!" She assured, turning to emerge from the vehicle. "Becca." He stopped her watching as she turned back to him with a grin._

 _"Meet me after class? I'll walk you to second period."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"Okay."_

 _Becca laughed again - filling his soul with the sweet sound as she stepped out of his car and disappeared towards the school without so much as a look back._

 _X_

 _"Wake up fucker! Ya got company."_

 _Jesse jerked awake quickly; watching the intruder with wide careful eyes. One of Jack's many thugs jerked him up by his shackles and shoved him towards the door._

 _"Lets go asshole. Get this shit over with."_

 _"Who's here?" He asked - his voice dry for lack of use. No one bothered talking to him anymore just woke him up and kicked him around until he started producing meth again. "Fuck if I know asshole. Move!"_

 _He did as told, shuffling his feet as quickly as they made their way across the driveway and towards Jack's office. Who would come to see him? Who even knew he was there? His thoughts drifted back to Becca's perfect face in his dream as the thug shoved him through the door to his company._

 _X_

 _"Jesse..."_

 _He looked up at Mr. White quickly not fully trusting the man who had tried to have him killed. Even if he had come all this way to save him it would be stupid to trust him._

 _"The Albuquerque police have a taped confession from me. I took full responsibility in Gale's death and Gus as well as everything that's happened in the past two years. As far as anyone knows you were just a guy that I bought weed from when I was first diagnosed with cancer."_

 _Jesse could only stare at his ex-partner - surprised at his words._

 _"Jesse, you have a clean slate back home if that's where you chose to go. A second chance at a normal life. I only ask one thing of you..." The bullet wound in Walt's side was growing larger every second. "Don't waste it."_

 _X_

Jesse stood on his parents doorstep with his hand raised to knock. This was the last place on earth he wanted to be - his parents had given up on him a long time ago but he desperately needed somewhere safe to rest and decide what was next. He had drove the entire night before dumping Todd's piece of shit car at the same pound that destroyed Mr. White's RV what seemed like a lifetime ago.

He knocked once on the thick wooden door glancing down at the blue box in his hands as his dad jerked open the door with wide eyes.

" Jesse?!"

He winced at his name - silently begging any God that would listen that his parents would give him some kind of break. He didn't want to play the victim - everything that had happened to him was no one's fault but his own he just needed forty-eight hours to rest his mind.

"I brought a drug test. It tests for all of them. I swear I haven't been using … I just need a few nights to…"

Suddenly his dad pulled him into a tight desperate hug - holding his son against his chest. This was different. His dad had always been a hard ass - talking him mom into kicking him out of the house when he failed senior year. Jesse returned his hug cautiously.

"We thought you were dead, son." Adam's words were flooded with emotion as he clung to his first born. Their sweet moment finally passed and Adam put Jesse at arms length; taking a long look at him. His mouth fell in a hard frown at the sight of him. To thin with gaunt features and scars marking his handsome face.

"Come in, come get something to drink." Adam ushered him inside quickly and shut the door - guiding him into the kitchen. Jesse sat the drug test on the counter and glanced around not surprised that nothing has changed since he'd been there last. Nothing had changed in this house for twenty five years except maybe the people.

"Where's Jake?"

Adam grabbed two beers from the fridge and turned to Jesse with a sadness in his matching blue eyes. "Jake is up north at a military boarding school. Not long after you disappeared he got caught smoking pot at school and was expelled. He told us that was his weed in the plant that day. Your mom thought it would be best if he had some structure in his life. So he didn't turn out like…"

Adam's voice trailed at the thought.

"Like me?" Jesse laughed at the thought causing Adam to smile slightly. He wanted the best for both his sons. "That's fair enough yo. I'm the last thing anyone should ever be like. How is he?"

"He was angry at first but it's actually the best thing we could have done for him."

Adam nodded towards the refrigerator at the picture of his little brother who was looking much more fit than the last time he'd seen him wearing his military suit proudly. His gaze fell to the next picture - a baby boy around eight months old that looked oddly familiar.

"Who's this?" Jesse asked quietly; touching his finger to the little boys nose. It looked like a picture of himself at that age but it was a picture he had never seen before. He stared in wonder as the front door opened and his mother emerged into the house quickly causing Jesse to turn to her - unsure of her reaction. He doubted it would be as warm as his father's.

She didn't say anything - no sharp retort about his drug addiction or how terrible a person he was - she just closed the space between them and hugged him tightly. Tonight was a night of firsts.

"Mom… I'm sorry for everything. I know I've said it a million times but I swear on my life I'm done using."

"I'm just so thankful you're okay." Midge assured softly looking into her son's eyes. He saw genuine relief in her matching blue hues. "I wish Jake was here to see you. You go get cleaned up and I'm going to call your brother and tell him you're alright."

Jesse nodded as his mom finally let him go; disappearing through the house to find some clothes for him to wear after his shower. He turned back to the mysterious picture for a second before making his way to the bathroom.

X

Jesse pulled his shirt on quickly and ran a hand through his damp hair; frowning as it spiked. A haircut was in his near future. He touched each new scar on his face; remembering how he had gotten each one. Jack and the others had beaten him within an inch of his life at least six times while he had been their prisoner. He could still feel the steel toe of Jack's boot against his rib cage.

P

There was a sudden tap at the bathroom door and his father emerged after a second; drug test in hand. Jesse wasn't surprised but it did sting a little. He thought they were past all that. Adam gave him an apologetic frown and handed the small plastic cup over.

"After everything that happened with you then Jake your mother and I started going to counseling. We've learned a lot about drug addiction and we have changed because of it. This," He lifted the empty box up briefly, "isn't for us…" Their eyes met. "It's for Becca."

"Becca Holt?"

Adam nodded, turning his head as Jesse urinated into the test cup and handed it over - eyes wide with curiosity. Never in a million years did he expect her to still be around.

X

Jesse followed his dad out of the bathroom slowly; keeping his head down as they made their way into the large living room where none other than Becca Holt was waiting. She was smaller than he remembered - much thinner then their last meeting but beautiful as ever. Her hair was lighter - brown with blond mixed in and those eyes; shining with tears like two emerald gems. He wanted to push his dad aside and go to her - fall to his knees before her and beg for forgiveness but he couldn't read her emotions. She wasn't angry or surprised; it was something far worse. A look that he had never expected from her. She looked terrified.

Behind him in his mother's arms, a baby wailed.

X

"We'll give you guys some privacy." Adam assured quietly as he nodded towards Midge with a stern look. Jesse's mother soothed the child in her arms as she walked past them with a sad, nearly pleading look on her face.

"Jesse, please don't ruin this."

Their grandson was the most precious thing to them in this world and even though they wanted to trust their son the thought of him angering Becca and her taking Jay away was heart-wrenching.

He could only watch as everyone left the room but Becca; those piercing eyes still on him.

"Where have you been Jesse?"

She kept her distance; their last encounter still fresh in each other's minds. He had been high on meth and whiskey - woken up by her obsessive nagging; even tho she just wanted to help him. She loved him when no one else did and he had slammed her against his apartment door. The shot glass he had thrown at her head; the one that shattered against the door had cut her cheek - leaving shining diamond like shards in her dark hair and blood on her favorite shirt.

"I'm sorry, Becca."

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she wiped them away quickly; she was stronger than that now - she had to be for Jay.

"Where were you?"

"I tried to call you but your phone was disconnected. Then I got involved with the wrong people and shit just kept getting worse from there."

Becca started at him as if he had sprouted a second head.

"You could have stopped. You could have come home, Jesse."

He had tried but after Jack and the others caught him trying to escape; after they killed Andrea… they had shackled his hands and feet to a pole making it nearly impossible to do much of anything but manufacture meth.

"Becca just trust me when I say I couldn't."

Her thin shoulders fell in defeat and she looked away. How could she trust him? How many times had Jesse lied to her in a lifetime? Now he was back after a year and they had a son. A son he knew nothing about. A son she would die to protect.

Jesse closed the space between them.

"I'm sorry I fucked things up between us. I don't deserve anything from you or them." He touched her cheek; bringing those jade eyes to his. "I'm just so glad to see you here."

Becca searched his worn face. He has been through some shit since they saw each other last. There was no denying that she only hoped she was doing the right thing for her son. She always told Midge and Adam she wouldn't kee Jay from them or Jesse if he ever came back but she would protect her son at all costs. No mother could blame her for that.

"We have a son. He's almost one… October 2nd. His name is Jason Jesse Pinkman. We usually call him Jay. He has your eyes. Our little bluejay."

Jesse's eyes went wide as she confirmed his suspicion. The baby his mother took away was his son. A baby he and Becca had made before their lives fell apart.

"I went back to your apartment a few days after I found out but you were gone. Your parents hadn't seen you and when I finally caught up with Badger he told me you were in rehab after a…" Her voice fell, "... heroin overdose."

It was Jesse's turn to look away.

"After that I couldn't… I had to think about our son and keeping him safe, Jesse. Once Jay was born I come to your mom and dad because I was desperate for a babysitter while I finished school and I knew they would be good to him."

He nodded, agreeing that it was smart on her part to let him go.

"I never let you go Jesse. I just have a smaller version of you to worry about now."

Their intense conversation lightened a little.

"Can I meet him?" It was more of a plea than a question. Becca stared at him for what seemed like a lifetime before she finally nodded in defeat. "When it comes to that little boy in there - you've never seen the level of crazy I can get to. Don't make me regret this."

He could only nod.

Yesterday he was chained up in a meth lab getting the shit kicked out of him at any given moment and today he was a free man meeting his son; he couldn't help but smile at the thought - allowing Becca to take the lead and guide him through the house where his mother was waiting with Jay.

X

One month later.

"Hey man."

Jesse looked up from the piece of wood he was sanding, surprised to see none other than Badger standing in the opening of his parents garage. He sat the sander aside and removed his gloves; dusting himself off before he crossed the garage and stood before his childhood friend.

"Yo." He said carefully, slapping hands with Badger. He had kept to himself the last few weeks; focusing on his sobriety and Jay. Becca had finished her counseling degree while they had been apart and now worked at their old middle school as a guidance counselor until 3pm. Then like clock work she showed up, said hello and took Jay home. Maybe one night a week they would stay for dinner at Midge's request. She didn't say much to him but he could hardly blame her for that. At least she allowed him to see Jay. Badger grinned his usual goofy smile at Jesse, glancing around the garage.

"Good to see you man."

Jesse forced a smile. He wasn't so sure.

"Table looks good. You made that?"

Jesse nodded, looking over at his recent work. His dad had given him a job at his lawn service company a few days after he showed up and they worked from daylight till dusk when the weather was nice but on the off rainy days he'd took to the garage to keep himself busy. Anything to keep his mind off of meth and Becca.

"I found the table at that antique store downtown but yeah I've been working on restoring it when I can."

"Cool. Cool."

The space filled with awkward silence - so many unspoken things between them. Things they would have to take to the grave. Jesse didn't have anything against Brandon he was just trying to stay as far away from his old life as possible.

"I heard you got a kid now and that's what brought you back."

"Yeah. His name is Jason. He's perfect yo." Jesse pulled out a small picture of his son and handed it to Badger with a smile. Jason was perfect - smart and beautiful like his mother. He wasn't even one yet and already trying to walk down the hallway after everyone and putting simple puzzles together. He made waking up every day worth it.

"He's adorable. You and Becca back together?" Badger asked carefully - knowing the shit storm that had been their relationship in the past. He didn't deserve that girl. Jesse shook his head no, fighting back a frown at the thought. "Nah, we ain't."

"Well, you should come out one night man. We can meet up with the old squad. Get a beer or something."

Jesse just stared at him having no intentions of doing that. He had to work to prove to everyone that meant something to him that he wasn't the same person he was five years ago. No more meeting up with Bader and getting talked into taking a toke. It would be a cold day in hell before he ever lit up again.

"It was good seeing you, Badger. I'm going to get back to it before Jay gets up from his nap."

"Alright, man. Good seeing you."

They slapped hands again and Badger was on his way - leaving Becca in his wake. She stood just outside the garage within ear shot of their conversation – impressed that Jesse hadn't jumped on the idea of hanging out with Badger and their friends that would never grow up. She had to give credit to Skinny tho. He actually took something away from those rehab meetings and as far as she knew was married and living in Texas with a family of his own.

"Hey. You're here early."

Hesse couldn't hide the disappointment in his words as he waved towards Becca. Jay had went down for a nap about twenty minute ago and he'd been looking forward to spending some time with him when he woke up. It looked like that wasn't happening now that his mother was here to whisk him away again.

"School let out at one today." She said quietly glancing over at the table behind him. It brought back memorizes of the wooden box he had made for his mother in high school. He had been so proud of himself.

"That looks beautiful, Jesse."

He turned back to the table behind him but shrugged. It was just something to pass the time. Maybe he'd eventually make it back to Ginny's house and use it there but the thought of stepping foot back in that house nearly sent him into a instant panic attack.

Maybe he would just throw it away when he was done or give it back to the antique shop.

"Well, come say bye to Jay. We've got swim lesson then grocery shopping. Busy evening."

Jesse started at her while she spoke; lost in her words. He wanted to fix whatever had happened between them – he wanted his friend back but as she stood there meeting his gaze - something was gone in those sad eyes and it was all his fault.

"Alright, let me close this up and Ill be right up." He muttered in defeat as she moved past him towards the kitchen door. "Jesse?" He stopped his tasks and turned to her; meeting her eyes again. "Yeah?" His voice broke with emotion as thoughts of her and Jay and the fact that things were so screwed began to eat away at him.

"Jay and I are really proud of how far you've come." She assured quietly before dissapearing into the house. He smiled at her words. Maybe all wasn't a complete loss.

X

 _Take me down take me all the way down tonight. Soon I'll be leaving. Break me down break me all the way down before the night is over. Let's get lost. Let's get lost..._

Jesse stood in his childhood bedrooms doorway - watching Becca carefully as she stood with her back to him; her honey blond hair was new - hard to get used to but a silent relief from the two previous dark haired girls he had cared for. Loved? Maybe at the time he thought he loved them but in the end it was always Becca. She held his heart even when he didn't know it. It was never his - never since that moment in the passengers seat of his car. He watched her turn slightly and smile at him - a real smile that he hadn't seen in so long. Her face was always twisted with worry when their eyes met but not now - now she as smiling at him and waiting for him in his bedroom.

He couldn't remember her ever being in his room before. In his house sure - all the time when they were growing up but his parents had always been hard asses and had strict rules about doors being left open and no girls allowed upstairs. Their eldest son was corrupted enough. Luckily Becca's dad was always gone with his army carrier and her mother with a new boyfriend each week. There was never anyone home at Becca's to enforce the rules.

He smirked at the thought and closed the space between them - running his hands up her arms and into her soft hair gently before kissing her. A moan passed between them. This woman was amazing - the mother of his child - the best thing that ever happened to him and somehow despite everything that had happened in his life she as still with him.

"I love you Becca." He whispered between them as her hands roamed under his shirt and she pushed her body against his - advancing on top of him on the bed. "I love you Jesse." Her voice was so soft against his ear causing him to moan again and pull her closer; closing is eyes as they kissed passionately.

When he opened them again Becca was gone and Jack Welker was in her place glaring down at him. "Rat bastard." He growled with familiar hot breath jerking Jesse up from the bed and punching him swiftly in the gut. Jack grabbed him by the back of the head and turned him to face Becca who was being held at gun point by Todd near his bedroom window.

"No." Jesse's voice came out inaudible - a near whimper as he watched Todd jerk Becca's head back and place the gun to her chin - pulling the trigger without another thought. "No!"

Jesse sat up in his bed quickly searching for that dead eyed fuck in the dark. He was alone. It was just a dream. He glanced at the clock beside his bed, 4:37am and ran a shaky hand over his face. Jesus.

X

By 6AM Jesse found himself in the garage - grinding the edges of the table smooth before his day of cutting rich peoples lawns started. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep - every time he closed he was plagued with images of Jack or Todd. His hands were still shaking from the dream.

Someone tapped on the side of the garage lightly causing him to look up. It was a warm New Mexico morning so he had the garage door open – staring at Becca against the bright morning sky. The sunlight on her back illuminated her features in a soft orange glow and she was radiant. Jesse swallowed hard.

"Hey. You were busy when we got here. Jay is still sleep though."

To his surprise she stepped inside the garage and closed the space between them, handing him a cup of coffee.

"Cream and two sugars."

Their eyes met.

"Just like I like it. Thanks."

Then it happened – just like that – she smiled; a true smile that lit up his whole world. He idly thought of his dream - before the fucked in parts when it was just him and Becca in his room. It was the same genuine smile.

"You're welcome. Adam said you guys had a lot of work lined up for today so I thought you'd need it."

Jesse nodded and took a sip; embarrassed at the inhuman sounds that left his throat. "I never could figure out how someone who hates coffee could make it taste so perfect." He assured quietly before taking another sip.

This caused her smile to widen and she even laughed quietly. It was music to his ears.

"Well, I've got to get to work." She didn't take her leave though, looking up at him through thick black lashes. God he wanted to kiss her – pull her into his arms and never let her go. "I have a meeting with the principal after work today. I was wondering if you could bring Jay home and maybe stay for dinner?"

Jesse nearly spit his third drink of coffee out at her request. Bring Jay to her? Go to her apartment and have dinner? His eyes went wide at the thought. She wanted them to eat food together with their son and without his parents as a chaperone.

He swallowed hard.

"Its alright if you can't. I can pick him up when the meeting…"

"No! I mean yes… of course I can do that. I would do anything for you guys."

This took Becca by surprise.

"Alright… well, thanks. Six sound good?"

"It sounds perfect."

They shared a smile and Becca returned to her car; waving to him quickly before pulling out onto the street. Leaving Jesse a little dumbfounded in the garage.

X

Jesse glanced up at the blazing sun as he pushed the lawnmower across Mrs. Jackson's dense grass – turning his attention to his dad who was waving him to stop.

"Yeah?" He called before taking a drink of his Gatorade. It felt like a million degrees in Albuquerque today.

"Hey it looks like some weather's headed in. Why don't you finish up here and call it a day."

Jesse looked up at the perfect blue sky. No cloud in sight.

"You sure?"

His dad nodded with a knowing smile.

"Alright yo. Sounds good to me."

X

"Make sure you tell Becca that Jay took his nap at four today. There's a cup of milk in his bag." Midge assured with a smile as she handed Jesse the green turtle diaper bag. "See you in a few days little one." She added kissing Jay's cheek as he squealed in delight.

"Drive safely, Jesse. Have a good time."

Jesse smiled and picked Jay up – glancing at himself in the hall mirror on his way out. He wasn't sure why Becca had asked him to dinner but he'd wanted to look nice – wearing new blue jeans and a loose fitting gray thermal shirt. Pushing lawn mowers all day, quitting drugs and his moms home cooked meals had helped turn the scrawny kid into a buffer guy. He wasn't built by any means but at least he didn't look so sickly anymore. It caused him to smile.

"Mama?" Jay asked as Jesse buckled him into the car seat carefully. "Yeah buddy. Were going to see mama right now. She's home cooking dinner. Are you ready to eat?"

Jay squealed in delight clapping his hands together.

Jesse smiled, checking the car seat twice before getting behind the wheel of his moms car. Never in his life did he think his mom would allow him to drive her Lexus but he was proving himself to them with every passing day and it felt good to be trusted for a change. He never wanted to lose that trust again.

"Alright! Can I get a high five?" He asked, lifting his hand up in front of Jay who slapped his hand quickly. They both giggled with excitement as Jesse checked the car seat one last time and drove off down the street towards Becca's apartment.

X

 _2 years ago._

 _"Becca?"_

 _She looked so young, clutching a crying infant in her arms with tears in her eyes as Midge Pinkman guided them into their house. Becca had been a good friend to their son and to her sister, Ginny. She had helped take care of her after the cancer diagnosis._

 _"Let me get you a glass of tea, dear?"_

 _Becca shook her head no, wiping at the tears that fell down her pretty face._

 _"Mrs. Pinkman, I have no idea what I'm doing. My mom is so far up her new boyfriends ass she doesn't return my calls. He won't stop crying. No one knows where Jesse is. I don't know if he's even alive."_

 _A sob escaped her at the thought as Midge took the baby - her unknown grandson - and began rocking him gently just the way she did when Jesse was born. It was the only way he would stop crying after a bottle. Becca could only watch with wide, tearful eyes._

 _"Becca honey. We haven't seen Jesse in a long time. I can't help you there but I'll help you with this precious baby. Is his father still in your life?" She needed to know if someone would try to come for this baby. As far as she knew it was always only Becca and Jesse but she knew her son had been less than a friend lately so there was always a chance someone else was now in the picture. Midge looked down at the baby in her arms - staring into Jesse's deep blue eyes._

 _Becca met Midge's eyes._

 _"Jesse." She whispered, her voice cracking with emotion as Midge's eyes went wide. "Jesse is his dad."_

 _X_

"They never asked for a paternity test. I tried to convince them Adam could give a sample but they never questioned me. From that day on they took me and Jay in and helped us without hesitation."

Jesse stared at Becca from across her small kitchen table - a spread of delicious spaghetti, salad and rolls before them. Jay in his high chair beside him making a massive mess as he giggled and squealed happily. His parents hadn't disappointed when it came to taking care of his son. He owed them more than he could ever repay.

"You can look at him and tell he's mine. He looks exactly like I did as a baby."

Becca smiled.

"I know. I was there."

Jesse grinned at her from across the table and took another bite of food. "I just don't know what I would have done without your parents. I was so clueless with Jay. Scared shitless."

"I'm sorry I put you through that Becca. If I would have known you were pregnant I would have been there for you."

Becca let her eyes fall to her plate. She knew he would have been there but she didn't know if he could have gotten clean. Especially after heroine? The thought of exposing their child to that lifestyle kept her awake every night.

"I didn't tell your parents what Badger told me that day. I kept it inside and tried to wish it away. I was so worried about you, Jesse. I've cried so much I don't even know how I have any tears left." She whispered as Jay slapped his hands into his spaghetti oblivious to their serious conversation. It was Jesse's turn to look away.

"I'm sorry Becca. All I can do is swear to you that part of my life is over. I would never do anything to put you or Jay in danger."

"Where were you Jesse?"

Jay stopped playing in his food, getting quiet as if he too wanted to know where his dad had disappeared to before he was born.

"I went to rehab and got clean. When I got out I was still... producing. All the bad shit Ive done started weighing me down. My mental state was not well. Things kept getting worse, friends died..., management changed and they wouldn't let me leave. I was a prisoner making their meth for them. I thought I would die in there."

Becca was watching him intensely now - eyes wide, mouth open and food forgotten. Jay was playing quietly again in the spaghetti.

"Jesus Jesse. Are they coming after you? Are you in danger?"

He shook his head no.

"Everyone that had anything to do with the past two years of my life are dead."

Becca sat back in her chair.

"That's the truth Becca. I've been involved in some seriously.. screwed up stuff since we split up but I swear it's over."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

She forced a smile and nodded, picking up her fork. "I trust you. The way you look at Jay. I trust that you'll do what's best for him."

Jesse smiled suddenly surprised at her words. It had been a long time coming. "Thank you Becca. You don't know what that means to me. I swear I'll never do anything to break that trust. Whatever you need I'm here for you and Jay."

Their eyes met; there was something unspoken in those jade colored eyes as she smiled.

"Well, how about you go give your son a bath and I'll clean this up."

Jesse glanced over at his spaghetti covered kid with a grin. "I think you've got the easier job."

X

Becca stepped out of Jay's room quietly pulling the door as she spotted Jesse standing near the kitchen - looking at the array of pictures she had of Jay on the walls. He touched each one - lost in thought.

"Hey." She whispered, closing the space between them as he turned to her - tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I missed all of this. The birth of my son." Jesse muttered, plopping down on her couch and running his hands over his face. Around the time Jay was born he was trying to get untangled from Mr. White's wicked web of lies and manipulation. Then he figured out he did in fact poison Brock just to pine Jesse against Gus. Then Todd killed that little boy. Then Mike was gone. It was too much to deal with and his fragile mind finally snapped. Even if Mr. White hadn't put a hit out on him and Jack hadn't taken him hostage for all those months he wouldn't have returned home. He wouldn't have brought the shit pile that was his life back to Becca. She deserved better.

Jesse felt her arm slide around his shoulders as she sat beside him; pulling him into a side hug.

"All that matters is you're here now, Jesse. The best thing you could have done for us was stay away. If you'd have showed back up to your parents strung out on drugs I would have left with Jay. I wouldn't allow him to be around that. Your parents knew it. We were terrified but we've all changed for the better, Jesse. None of us handled your addiction in the best way."

He nodded, head hanging low. Screaming at him, isolating him with his fellow junkies wasn't helping him break his habits but he hadn't made it easy for them either. An image of Becca's broken face, tears streaming was forever burned into his brain.

"I really fucked everything up between us, Becca." His voice was low, full of emotion and he couldn't look at her. Her hand was moving slowly across his shoulders in a soothing motion trying to comfort him the best she could without getting to close. There were two things in this world she had to protect now - her son and her heart.

x

"Maybe tomorrow we could take Jay to the park?" Jesse asked, standing just outside her apartment door. Becca smiled, nodding in agreement. "He would love that."

"Great."

They stood in awkward silence. Spending the past few hours reminiscing about the happy times they shared left them both in a good mood but saying goodbye was hard; especially for Jesse. He didn't do good being alone anymore.

Surprising them both Becca reach out and wrapped her arms around her oldest friend, the father of her child, pressing their chests together.

"Thanks for bringing Jay to me. Thanks for coming to dinner." She whispered between them letting her hand slip into his. "I'm really glad to have you back, Jesse."

Their eyes met as he moved his other hand to her cheek, bringing their heads together as he rested his forehead against hers - closing his eyes. He didn't want to leave her.

"Me too." He whispered, hugging her again before he turned towards Midge's car - leaving Becca alone with her arms wrapped around herself; staring after him.

X

3 weeks later.

"Will you go to prom with me?"

Jesse looked up from the small side table he was refinishing; raising an eyebrow at Becca who sat quietly on top of his mothers wash machine - smiling innocently. He had asked her that very question several years ago - green eyes wide and too big for her face; smiling excitedly as she said yes and hugged him around the neck.

They never actually made it to prom - he was suspended for two weeks for getting caught smoking pot on school property and Becca's mom had spent any extra money they may of had for a dress on plane tickets to Atlanta to visit her boyfriend. Her parents divorced a few weeks later.

Neither of them were in the mood.

His thoughts trailed to how they'd actually spent prom night - alone in her house for the first time with a bottle of Adam's whiskey and a bag of his best weed. He could still picture her standing by her computer looking for a perfect playlist - hair long and dark, wearing a baggy shirt that was probably his and sweat pants. Cheeks red from drinking - eyes wide and shining. She'd never looked more beautiful to him.

"Jesse?"

He blinked and met her amused gaze. She knew what he was thinking about.

"Uh, what?"

"Prom. I owe one of the high school teachers a favor. She got a few of the freshmen to mentor some of my eighth graders over the summer and now she's cashing in. I have to chaperone." She rolled her eyes at the thought. "Someone's sure to spike the punch?"

Jesse laughed at the thought, returning his attention to the table. Another few clear coats and this one would be ready. Several of the old bitty's in the neighborhood had found out about his refinishing skills and brought him some of their "antiques" to repair. It put some extra money in his pocket and kept his hands and mind busy.

Between his dads business and the side job he'd saved up enough money to buy his own car - a decent four door coup safe for traveling with Jay. No more hydraulics. He was a family man now... without the family.

Jesse looked at Becca again, surprised she was still watching him.

"Yeah, I'll go to prom with you. You can't get out of it this time though."

Becca smiled innocently and pushed herself off the washer before Midge caught her again. Even though she was an adult now she didn't want to get chastised. Midge was a little high strung when they were teenagers.

Taking a step back from his work Jesse sat his paint brush down, glancing back to Becca who had closed the space between them. She was standing dangerously close - inspecting his work as her perfume filled his soul. She always smelled amazing. When she turned her attention back to him all he had to do was move his head a few inches and he could kiss her but he hesitated and like that she was gone.

"It's 50's themed." Becca assured slipping past him to go collect Jay from his mother. Swim lesson was in thirty minutes. "Pick me up at 6pm on Friday?"

Jesse just watched her disappear into his house without so much of a glance back. That girl was going to be the death of him.

X

He showed up fifteen minutes early on Friday - knocking on her door with a blue corsage in hand. He wanted to give her the prom she never had and he didn't disappoint. Becca opened her front door carefully; smiling at her date as he stood before her with a pale blue dress shirt, sleeves pulled up to his elbows and navy blue tie tucked into his gray vest. His hair was slicked back in a fifties style - eyes bright and smiling at her.

"Wow." Was all she could say, giving him a little spin in her own pale blue dress that fanned out at her knees; a matching navy sash that went around her waist and down her back.

"Wow back at you." Jesse assured, taking her hand as she stepped out to her driveway. "Holy shit your dad let you take the Bel Air? I thought he had it in storage."

"It was."

Adam Pinkman's shined up black '57 Chevy Bel Air was waiting for them. "We're going to piss off a lot of kids tonight." She assured as Jesse walked her to the borrowed car, opening the door before she took the offered seat.

X

To their surprise several of the high school kids showed up in their parents or grand parents classic cars that night and everyone looked dressed to impress. The 1950's theme was a major success even though there was about ten Marilyn Monroe and Danny Zucko wannabes wandering around the gym at any given moment.

"You look amazing tonight." Jesse muttered as he handed her a very strong cup of red punch from the corner table. Becca grinned taking a small sip. "Thanks for humoring me tonight. I'd be lying if I said I didn't dream of going to prom. I wanted everyone to see me with the coolest guy in school."

Jesse laughed at the thought.

"I was a loser. I don't know what you saw in me."

"I saw everything in you." Becca assured quietly, looking up at him from her cup. Jesse could only stare at her; expressionless. "I wish things would have went different with us. I wish I would have listened to you back then."

"That's the past, Jesse."

He nodded thoughtfully and took her drink, sitting it on a random table behind them as he took her hand. "Dance with me?" The seniors and their dates were behaving surprisingly well which allowed the chaperones to enter mingle with them and take turns dancing if they wanted to. Becca smiled allowing Jesse to guide her to the dimly lit dance floor. She placed her hands around his neck - stiff arming him as he laughed and did the same - dancing awkwardly around the mortified teenagers. The song slowly changed on the track - melting away to a familiar sultry tune from none other than Elvis Presley.

 _Wise men say, only fools rush in._

 _But I can't help, falling in love with you._

 _Shall I stay? Would it be a sin._

 _If I can't help, falling in love with you._

 _Like a river flows, surely to the sea._

 _Darling how so it goes, something's are meant to be._

 _Take my hand, take my whole life too._

 _For I can't help, falling in love with you._

Becca slipped her arms around Jesse's neck - closing the space between them significantly as his hands moved down near her ass. Their gaze locked as they swayed to the meaningful music - both lost in each other's eyes.

Jesse could hardly believe he was standing in his old high school gym dancing with Becca of all people. After everything that had happened in his life he didn't deserve this but he was grateful for the second chance Mr. White had allowed him. A second chance to be a father to Jay. A chance to fix his relationship with Becca.

He wanted that more than anything. A second chance with Becca.

Jane and Andrea had filled a void in his life - given him something to look forward to in a bleak and miserable existence but he hadn't loved them. They were junkies like him. They only passed the time. Becca was the one - his superior, the girl who tried to make him be a better man.

She was in his arms now; smiling up at him - trying to think of what could be going through his mind in this moment.

"Jesse..."

"I love you Becca. Ive always loved you and I always will. Even if I ruined any chance of you ever loving me again I just want you to know that. You and Jay mean everything to me."

She didn't care that they were surrounded by teenagers dancing awkwardly around them. Maybe it was the music, the low lights and the twinkling stars hanging from the ceiling or maybe it was the feeling in her chest. She moved her hands into the back of his hair - pulling him towards her as their lips met and she kissed him gently. His tongue found hers - turning their innocent embrace into a passionate kiss - holding her against his chest as the song melted away as quickly as it came causing the crowd to turn their attention to them; whistles and claps brought them to the present - both standing in shock and confusion as they put some space between them.

"I need," Becca searched Jesse's face for a moment before turning towards the bathroom and darting off like something out of a fairytale - leaving him alone in the dance floor.

X

TBC...


End file.
